Saturday, June 07, 2008

A new path

I have quit my job.

No, I don't have anything lined up for afterward yet.

I know. It is so unlike me. But I feel good about the decision. And now the entire world is open to me. I've often felt my biggest problem is narrowing down choices. Now I have a deadline (Septemberish - when my savings start to run out) which I am hoping will motivate me. Back to school, humanitarian work, traveling, starting a business, getting another "regular" job - so many choices. All I know is that I want to be open to all possibilities and explore every option. And I want to take the summer to relax and work on my yard and house and find a bit of the old Shannon that's been lost in the past five years.

I have about a month left at my job to tie up loose ends, get everything in order and say goodbye. Yesterday everyone in the office went on a big golf tournament as a wellness event of sorts. It was a fantastic day and lots of fun. I can't say my golfing was all that fantastic though - let's just say my mental game was much better than my physical game. Anyway, afterward a few of us went to sing kareoke with some of the people we'd met that day. I said from the start that I would not sing, that I was more of a supporter of kareoke than a participator. But as the evening wore on and I looked through the lists of possible songs I found one that I thought I could manage. But I was way too scared. I hate singing popular songs in front of people. The key is usually all wrong and I don't know the tunes of the verses for most songs. But one of my friends said, "Shannon, you should sing it. You should. You want to make these changes in your life and you said you'd be open to new possibilities. I really think you should sing this song. It doesn't matter how well you do - you will not see most of these people ever again, and the ones that you do will only remember that you were fun." She was so right. I kept thinking that if I was not brave enough to get up and sing a silly song than how could I think I was brave enough to completely change my career.

So I did it. It wasn't that good, but it doesn't matter. It was fun and I felt really good afterward.

And now it's time to do some hard work and knock on some doors to see which ones will open.