she's got the style and grace of a wiener

I've been very lazy about posting. Partly because I've been having so much company. I am not sure why a bunch of my friends all of the sudden have been coming to visit but it's been incredibly nice and made me extra glad that I bought my house. Anyway, I've been planning to tell a story about how I am the most sophisticated maiden in the land.

It was while I was at my church's may long weekend retreat in Alberta. I was wearing a skirt and pretty sandals (pictured below). Anyway, a friend of mine who happens to be an ex boyfriend had arrived at the outing that morning and I had not yet had a chance to say hello. We'll call him friend X. He happened to be sitting at the same table as another friend (friend J) who I'd been planning to sit with for lunch, so I thought I'd say hello to X as I passed his chair on my way to sit by J. It would be nonchalant-ish enough but still friendly enough - perfect!

When most people, usually including myself, fall, it generally involves some sort of combination of trip, stumble, loss of balance, and sort of gentle but awkward hitting of the floor. Well as I rounded the corner where X was sitting at the front of the room in view of everybody, there was nothing in my path. Nothing to trip or stumble over. I didn't trip, I didn't stumble, I didn't even lose my balance. It was like one minute I was walking normally and the next I was pretending to slide into home plate. I went down hard and fast and in a fluid motion without any bending of my body. I quickly checked to make sure my skirt was covering everything as I sat up and looked into X's eyes and said, "Hello?" So much for being nonchalant. How about I fall right at his feet?

In elementary school we had these book lists come out every month or two. Mom would let me pick one book to order every time - it was such a treat. I remember getting "Megan the Klutz" by Alida Young. Then "The Klutz Strikes Back". Then "Klutz is back". I was never so bad as the main character in the book, but I could certainly identify with her. I think I liked the books because at least someone (that she was fictional was a moot point) was worse than me. My best moment was the time I was on my first date with a guy I really liked. He'd taken me to this fancy restaurant and I slammed my thumb in his car door as we were getting out. I was so embarassed that I didn't say anything until just before we went in the restaurant door. I finally had to ask him to get me some paper towel because I didn't want to bleed all over the restaurant. You could see the blood trail from his car. He had to butter my bread and cut my chicken that night because my hand was pretty much good for nothing except immobility. It was horrible. I guess I'm just tired of doing stuff like that. Which is why I felt the familiar mortification at falling down a couple weeks ago. How I crave elegance.

To close I shall post two pictures.
The promised shot of my pretty sandals.














A picture of my sidewalk below my maple and elm trees. As pointed out by a friend, it looks like the hair of a bunch of who's from whoville.

The fake crush

I noticed this past weekend that a lot of my friends (read: me and a lot of my friends) have developed what we like to call the "fake crush". My definition of a regular crush has always been for one person to develop affection for another person whom they totally could date but do not think they really and actually have a chance at dating. Generally, but not always, both parties are single.

This whole fake crush phenomenom opens up a new world of crushing. Because the whole point is that it would almost for surely never happen. Now people can have fake crushes on attached people, much younger or older people, and much cooler or hotter people than they would normally be able to admit. Personally, I think that more often than not the person has a regular crush but would never reveal it. The fake crush allows them to tell the world (even the fake crush themself) without putting themselves out there too much. And it also allows several friends to all have fake crushes on the same person without getting too jealous. It's just a fake crush after all.

My question is this. If two friends have a hardcore fake crush on someone, do they have to run it by the other if one of them actually gets a chance to date said crush? Or because it's fake (or so they say) should the party of interest be up for grabs?

I wonder if this is a localized thing, or if others have heard of the fake crush. It's not on the urban dictionary yet.

I wonder if anyone has a fake crush on me? I think I'd be honoured to be fake crushed on.

Geez Timmy Ho!

I got butter with my soup AGAIN! Totally wierd.

This weekend I went to a wave pool for the first time in years. We played pig in the middle for about an hour in the deep part of the waves. Afterward my visiting friends and I came home to change and go for supper and some live jazz. Our eyes were quite similar to the bad guy's big red eye in Lord of the Rings. His name slips my mind.

We also went walking down by the river, grabbed some ice cream from the double decker bus downtown(best frozen yogurt ever), and took in a bit of culture at the art gallery. Quite the fantastic day.

So I got invited to a friend's sister's wedding today. I told them months ago that I would go - and I really want to. I've kept the weekend open and everything. It is a family that was brilliant to me in university. However, it's out at their favourite camp site. And it occurred to me, that while I adore the family and their campsite, I am really not going to know anyone else. And it's camping. Which means, couples in tents. And I shall be alone in mine because my friends will be busy with the wedding. This whole singleton status is really worst at times like this. There are things I appreciate about not being tied down. But realizing you will sign the RSVP letter as "Shannon without guest" is so not one of them. I'm so tired of doing it that I walked into my office today and told my co-workers that I needed them to think of all their single, somewhat decent looking, easy going and relaxed guy friends who might be up for being my date at a wedding. After they realised it included an overnight stay in a tent with no follow-up committment they figured they could come up with a few options. I guess I didn't realise how that sounded. But it's very difficult to find a friend that you sort of know to come to an overnight wedding. Even in separate tents it would still be awkward. They either have to be a fantastically good friend, of which I have few (males anyway), or almost a complete stranger. That middle kind of good friend stage is okay for a day date, but not what practically amounts to a mini-break.

Anyway, I think I must go to the wedding, alone or not. Because I want to and I refuse to let being single keep me from doing things like that. And besides, maybe there will be some decent looking, relaxed, fun-loving guy there in the same predicament as me.