What I need?

A friend told me to google my name + needs and see what comes up. Perhaps google knows me too well. Here is the first thing that came up:

"SHANNON NEEDS HELP SHE CANT CONTROL HERSELF AND SHE NEEDS TO STOP"

Google also thinks I need some other stuff too:

"Shannon needs to be constantly highlighted"

"Shannon needs a father for her baby"

"Shannon needs financial help"

"Shannon needs to be more vigorously investigated by the Irish Government" (Yes, by a very attractive Irish agent too...)

"Sayid needs Shannon and she needs him"

"Shannon needs to be loved" (by Sayid?)

"Shannon needs information on responsible sexual behavior"

"Shannon needs prosthetic eye"

"Shannon needs a shower" (the title of this one was "1001 reasons why Shannon shouldn't be killed" - apparently stinking is good)

"Shannon needs to account for the economic costs of all the idiot children bred by less than capable parents..."

"Shannon needs to know everything asap too"

"Shannon needs to get over Scotty and find someone else" (Sayid! Sayid! Google votes for Sayid!)

You should all check out what google thinks you need.